It's your Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to Booze #1, this post is dedicated to you.

We have before us, a paralyzer made with UV Chocolate Cake vodka, Kahlua, coke and milk.

We give this 4 stars and two thumbs up.

Gathered around, our glasses are raised and we toast you:
*your boobs
*you have a hot ass
*......to your cookies
*you smell good, really good
*you are the bestest neighbor EVER
*Gogol bordello
*I want to be your neighbor
*fabulous Mother
*You're a unitard! Oh no wait, that wasn't for you, that was just a random quote from the night.

Ah G, that's what happens when we let the men help us write our posts...I'm so sorry for that.   

They have a one track mind.  

Now in all sincerity, let's try again.   

A toast to G on her birthday.   

I know your day was filled with great times, fabulous friends and lots of laughter,

 and I am very happy that I was part of your day.   

Thank you for all that you do for everyone in your life, you are amazing! 

 Cheers to you on your day, and cheers to many more birthdays ahead.

And now I ask all of our trusty followers, please comment and share with G on her Birthday what you love most about her. Tell her which is your favorite blog post or your favorite booze, and show G some love.

Warm Afternoon Delight!

Oh the weather outside is frightful,

But the booze is so delightful,

The dishes are done in the sink 

Pour a drink! Pour a drink! Pour a drink!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,

The kids clothes are wet and sopping,

And since we're sitting on our ass

Raise your glass! Raise your glass! Raise your glass!

These drinks are going down nice,

This tastes like we should have more.

Drinking at home, an affordable price,

And soon we'll be on the floor!

But the clothes in the dryer are drying

And, we don't hear any kids crying,

Your company I adore

Pour one more! Pour one more! Pour one more!
... Glennis and Patty

1/2 oz Kahlua

1/2 oz Pinnacle Whipped Vodka

1 oz coke

hot chocolate made with Milk

Pour the booze and coke into your mug and then slowly add the Hot chocolate.  

Stir and Enjoy!

5 star rating

We were not sure how the hot milk was going to mix with this drink, but it worked...no lumps! 

And it was delicious...so delicious that we finished our drink before we finished this post. 

Stay warm and dry and give this drink a try!

To make this drink extra delicious, Glennis had some delectable sugar & vanilla sprinkles that we put on top.  This added just enough pizazz to class up our drinks.  

This is perfect for those times that you want that over priced coffee look and taste at prices that allow you to drink more than just one!

Good Booze Gone Bad

It's Spooktacular!  The drinks, the laughs, the fun...of Halloween

Great booze, helps to create great stories, famous new quotes, and life moments to regret later on.
This years' Halloween Party promised to bring just that.

The night started off with well dressed folk, full glasses, and lots of smiles. And finished with costumes falling apart or coming off, empty bottles of booze and lots of great dancing and karaoke.

I went under cover, taking notes at the party, tracking the progression of "good booze gone bad". The objective, was to sit back and listen to the conversation....taking note of all the things that people say that another person could take out of context? You know those things that just make you giggle until you pee, or fall on the floor and cry yourself to tears.  The times when you want to type LMFAO. Unfortunately, we didn't have as many of those moments as I was hoping for, but we had some good ones.  This group just removed the "filter" and had some interesting conversation topics.

Before you read any further, please raise your right hand in the air and repeat after me...."I am over the age of 19, old enough to buy my own drink in the bar and promise to not read the following out loud when a minor is present."  (We are Mom's you know....we have to keep this respectful.)

So here it is, the quotes you've been waiting for, in order as the night progressed. I'm sure the quotes will be funnier to those that where there...can you guess who said what?

• It's just your tit, one big god damn tit
• Can we wax you while you are here (referring to his back)
• there is only room for one man to hang his package in this room 
• Q. What do you think of this idea....A. It's Brilliant
• Talk about all the shitty spins....dang, left elbow...again
• Don't spill anything on the kitchen floor or you'll get a good time from Randy
• There is too much Party Rockin going on down there
• Tits N Tenille - that's the band name
• ....ever since my second vasectomy...
• I'm a very dull person so nothing funny comes out; however, I've been around for 5 years, I think Canada is producing a new coin for that 
• You want my Bacon?!
• I injured my nipple today, no seriously...
• Please, can somebody say something that is not awkward
• I just serviced my sister today
• Dammit you just got to do the thing with the other thing
• Just lie back and think of England
• I bet you can't spin just once 
• That's a "spanks" ass 
• Everything is better with bacon. Don't you wish you could just wake up and chew bacon? aaarrrrr arrrr arrrrrr
• LAZY ASS
• That's how both mine were....oooops....they say that the dark gene is the dominant one...that's bull shit
• If it doesn't match the color of Patty's hair we can't drink it 
• She doesn't creep easily 
• That would make me want to masterbate in the front seat
• Wha?  I already looked at your boobs
• What are you hungry for??
• My slippers are ambidextrous, they go with every outfit

Remember that these quotes were in time order and not necessarily from the same conversation...in fact I don't think any two were from the same conversation.

Yikes, well now that I've read those over....I wonder what the heck kinda party I was at.  It was all clean fun.   Which reminds me of the conversation I heard in the liquor store the other day between two guys talking about their high school girl friend.....rotten rotten rotten language.  We are obviously older, wiser and a bit more cautious with our words (as duly noted above).

The overall consensus is that it was a fabulous Party! A great time was had by all and I'm sure the clean up could prove to that. Looking forward to trying it again next year. 

Happy Halloween

Great Costumes and Great Drinks
or not always.

Every occassion calls for a new drink and tonight we put together

1/2 oz apple vodka
1/2 oz pear
1 oz kahlua
sprite
milk
orange cream

1 star rating

Sorry blog followers, this one was a bust.  We do not recommend it, but we'll drink it anyways because that is what we do...but we won't make two.

To make up for a recipe gone bad....we want to share with you the following Witch's brew:

Have a great night, and stop back later...or tomorrow and we will entertain you with an inside glimpse of the party.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Last year we created our own version of a Pumpkin Pie Paralyzer (search for it on our site - you'll love it), and this year....have a look at what Pinnacle has created to make that paralyzer even easier.

We are not sure where to find this delectable new vodka (sorry about that), so instead we are going to invite you to close your eyes as we take you on a journey to the land of thought...

Imagine (I know you love it when we start our posts out like this)....OK, here we go....

Imagine - you have a nice frosty mug with three frozen ice cubes in the bottom, just waiting to be warmed up. So you add: 

1 oz Pumpkin Pie Vodka

1 oz Kahlua

pour in some milk

add a splash of coke

top with some whip cream 

sprinkle with cinnamon

Now raise that glass up to your nose and breathe in the goodness, closer, closer, now take your finger and remove that whip cream mustache you just gave yourself.  

 MMMMM delicious

Find a straw to stir this pie in a glass and sip your first drink. 

It's creamy, it tastes like pumpkin and if you have the urge to chew it, you can do that now.  

Did I mention that this is delicious! And so less filling than a real piece of pie. 

Divert......OMG, imagine this vodka poured over top of a piece of pumpkin pie! 

added to your home made whip cream

Pumpkin Pie jello shooters

Tarts with Pumpkin Pie vodka

Shooters with Baileys

Holy Heck, you have got to OPEN YOUR EYES NOW and you need to find this vodka. Run, Walk, hail a cab, just find this vodka.  The first one to bring us a bottle can have your very own blog post dedicated just to you, from us because we'll love you so much.  

Happy Thanksgiving to you, our blog post readers.  We appreciate you!

Enjoy your families this weekend, find time to relax and savor a drink or two. 

G&P

your two favorite boozes

the Boot Camp Cool Down

This drink is dedicated to our fitness instructor, she drives us to drink!!

some Orange Whipped (for the nutritional value) 

some Kahlua (for the goodness)

some milk (for the calcium)

some coke (for the sugar high)

5 star (because its great for re-hydration)

P: What, you brought me to a fitness class?  I thought "Boot Camp" was the new shoe store, now I understand why you told me to wear sweats - shit!

45 minutes of cardio? No prob. Haven't done this for...ever...no problem.

With only six people in the gym, it's hard to hide, but I figured out that if you jump when everyone else jumps, it looks like you are doing burpees.  

And breathe.

She's a slave driver! Three repetitions of ten exercises for one minute each, for three times...did I say we did the entire routine (is a fitness workout called a routine?) three times?. I'm going to puke. Thankfully I can think about my blog while I run laps around the gym.

Half way there. Five More....now burpees, wall sit ups, stretch, run, mountain climbers, run, sleep, stretch...breathe...think about paralyzers!

G: You did it Patty! So proud of you. Now you've earned a "boot camp cool down". I know we did a cool down in our class, but this cool down is much more enjoyable. And I'm sure I've heard you should have citrus or milk post-workout. This is great!

Normally we use a shot glass. But our arms are a little shaky from the burpees and mountain climbers we did. So forget that shot glass! Two hands on the bottle. It's free-pour time!

Engage the core, shoulders back, chin up...and hold the pose...insert drink here! Repeat! Breathe, drink...repeat, breathe, drink, repeat!

We're already short of blood flow to our heads, and these drinks are a little on the stronger side. Might be an early night!

Wait, we need to repeat two more times, and do it all in under one hour.

G: You will not feel the burn here!
P: Well you might in the morning!

Now that's a workout.

P: Hey Glennis, we should do this again next week!
G: Oh, did I forget to mention that you just enrolled yourself into eight weeks of this!

:)

Banana Split

You just might go a little bananas for this one!

1 ounce 99 Bananas
1 ounce Kahlua
strawberry milk
coke

3 star rating

Why can't all things delicious come in a glass?   They can when you eat desert with us.
And second helpings are a must.  This drink is so good you'll want to have a bunch.

Be warned that 99 Bananas is 49.5% alc./vol - so this one might make you act like a monkey:
you might have to peel yourself off the couch
you might talk a little mushy to the people sitting beside you
you might try to do the splits
perhaps you'll feel a little yellow, or brown
it will be cool to call things ripe

Bananas
	1. a slang word derived from the old saying "bananas" used to describe someone that was crazy. Used now to describe anything in style or cool

We are pretty sure you will want to pay good Monkey for this booze!

Have some fun, go Bananas and try this drink out.

2Boozes...helping women all over class up their beverages since 2011.

Sweet Victory

We originally posted this in September 2011, but this delicious booze has re-emerged and we wanted to share this with you one more time....it really is a 5 star!

Hooray, we've killed those darn wasp-ps-ps.   And you, you just took gold in the dragon boat race.   You finished the marathon and you, there...yes you, you just built your first patio.   Oh don't worry, we also applaud you for washing your dishes, and you, for getting  your kids to bed, and you in the south, you just put in a full week of work.   I think we all deserve a drink to toast our successes....so this Sweet Victory paralyzer is for YOU!!

5 star rating - woot woot - it's a gold mine

1 oz Dutch Caramel Vodka
1 oz Kahlua
2 parts milk
1 part coke
top with Cream Vanilla infused whipped topping

Dutch Caramel - the gem of the beverage
Smooth. Rich. Delicious. Discover the pure, caramel decadence of Van Gogh Vodka, Dutch Caramel. Introduced in 2009, Van Gogh Vodka continues the tradition of creating the most unique flavors in the world of premium vodka.
Unfortunately, we have not yet been able to find this vodka in Saskatchewan...but we can import it from Alberta.  This vodka is so delicious....you have got to try it.   


PLEASE ENJOY CREAM RESPONSIBLY
Anything but ordinary! Vanilla CREAM is a delicious combination of natural and artificial vanilla flavors and a smooth alcohol infused whipped cream.  
Again, this is an import from Alberta, and found on the discontinued shelf.   It hurts so good, that you have got to try it if you get the chance.   It smells delicious, feels like whip cream and burns like dirty alcohol.   


Big moments of victory or small moments of joy....whatever makes you smile, remember that life's great moments are worth celebrating and this is the drink to celebrate with you.   The Van Gogh vodka is expensive, delicious and worth saving for that special celebration.   Every celebration.   It's your life, Your happiness....celebrate with a Sweet Victory paralyzer.   

No Bake Cookies in a glass (a.k.a. cookielyzer)

This is our new favorite no bake, no mess, cookie recipe. 

Perfect for those hot summer days when you do not want to turn on the oven.   

For effect, you can still choose to wear your favorite apron and splash some flour on your face. 

This recipe makes one delicious cookie at a time, but feel free to double or triple the batch to your liking.   

The cookie dough flavor is evident in this drink on sip number one, and remains delicious until you lick the bowl clean. 

For our first attempt at using this new flavor, we have a Blue ribbon in the baking contest.  Check back for more variations with this vodka...maybe some peanut butter cookies, chocolate fudge brownies, or a hot fudge strawberry banana cookie dough sundae. 

1 oz Pinnacle Cookie Dough vodka

1 oz Kahlua

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup Vanilla coke

Pour over ice. Stir with a straw and enjoy!  

These are so tasty, you'll want to make a full dozen. 

4.5 stars

These are Mommy cookies, please do not let your children lick the spoon, or they'll be calling this drink a para-ookie!

You won't be tossing these cookies!!

Ponder? Pondering? Pondered? hmmm

It's summertime in the city...and you're likely thinking that we've gone and passed out somewhere due to the fact that it's been sooo long since we've posted a new recipe for you.    

Well, here it is ...PROOF...that we have not passed out, we're just casually pondering new flavored vodkas and dreaming up recipes.   

It's not the most flattering photo, but the truth is...not all of our drinks are delicious...so we're even! Then again, maybe this is our better side....so let's design a cup that will let us drink from the bottom up, or with a very obvious front and back to it....the ideas are plenty.  Would you like to sponsor us?  We will all go into business together, design some cool booze accessories, have our recipes published...OUR BLOG IS GOING TO BE A HIT!!!

What do you think about when you ponder?

Take time this summer and try a new beverage or two while you ponder!  

PONDER: verb (used with object)to weigh carefully in the mind; consider thoughtfully

The summer is yours to enjoy, (unless you get heat stroke, but then just add water to your drink and you'll be fine) so have a good time and check back here for updates. 

Time to get back to pondering...

When the neighbor's away, a girl must play!

If you know me, you know a) I love a good bargain and b) if I can get my hands on some FREE booze stuff I am all for that!   So today, I scored. 

The sad part to my story is that Glennis is not here to share it with me...she's sitting by the campfire somewhere having marshmallow shooters and non paralyzer drinks.   So, I figured...maybe I should do the same, minus the campfire and marshmallow shooters (cuz them marshmallows are cursed - please eat with caution). 

Now, on to the good part! Check out this HAT!!! Yep, FREE with purchase. It's slightly too big for my head; however, it comes with a chin strap so that I can tighten it to fit. 

Or maybe that's just the Saskatchewan safety for these windy days. 

Regardless, this hat, is going to be my campfire hat for when I join Glennis this summer - yep, it's perfect for our campfire olympics on those hot days.   

I can't wait. 

Or, maybe I should get another hat for Glennis and they can be our official paralyzer hats

...hmmm, something to think about.

I know you're wondering, what's in the bottle? It's new (to me anyways), and it is called 

"Adult Chocolate Milk". 

It's made with premium red wine; seriously, wine and cream. 

If you go to the liquor store by our house you can sample it today, and try on a hat.  

But back to the drink itself, it says on the bottle that "this ultimate chocolate lover's wine, is a marriage of rich velvety chocolate, the freshest of milk and premium red wine." 

What woman would NOT want to drink this??  

It is delicious. 

 I am drinking this delectable beverage over ice, in a sophisticated wine glass (because I do not drink out of my Redneck Wine Glass unless Glennis is having a drink with me). 

This is really tasty, and I think you should try it. 

Oh the possibilities this new Uptown Girl drink has brought to us.   The bottle also states that this can be used as a mixer in many cocktails.  Double Score!! We can try it in the place of Kahlua, maybe add some wine to our paralyzers, drink it with Strawberry vodka, or just add another booze and some soda.   

Glennis, you'd better hurry home and try this. 

Or, maybe I should just go purchase another bottle. 

After all, I did get a FREE hat. 

Girlfriend in a coma

1 oz imported premium Blavod (black vodka)

1 oz fragoli

milk

coke

4 star rating

This delicate vodka has no flavor, only an immense color, it is better than hair dye. Pair this with Fragoli and you will be pleasantly surprised with great berries.  This is not the cure, this is the Smiths.

The s'more-a-lyzer

3/4 ounce chocolate liqueur
3/4 ounce fluffed marshmallow vodka

1tsp Goldschlager

pour in some Kahlua

milk

coke

Mix to taste, and continue to add s'more of any of the above in any combination until it tastes like a s'more and takes you back to the campground. If you need to try this a few times, that is acceptable - it's always difficult to find that "perfect" chocolate bar. 

If you have ever had a marshmallow shooter at the campfire, you will find this drink better than that, if you have never had a marshmallow shooter.....don't try them (Patty almost ended her paralyzer career...ask her some time).

A real s'more is complicated to piece together and is quite the challenge to eat without getting marshmallow stuck in your hair or all over your fingers.  The only challenge with this drink is making it last.

The fluffed marshmallow is a delectable vodka that will disappear quickly....mmmm perhaps we should try this  in a cup of hot cocoa?

PB&J - alyzer

This is a new combination, for a new year. We've pulled out some new flavours and some new beverage holders.   

First...let's introduce you to our new official paralyzer drinking receptacles - THE REDNECK WINE GLASS. 

A lot of people say that it is hard to find True Love more than once in a life time...but the moment we saw these glasses in the store, we knew it was love at first sight. Our old mason jar mugs, but on a wine glass base. We think they class us up a bit. 

We've found a lot of similarities with our new glasses and our new paralyzer, and can't wait to share. 

Before you continue, click here for a little background music.

Peanut Butter Jelly time

The PB&J is made of: 

2 oz Nut Liquor

1 oz Fragoli

Sprite 

Milk 

Nut Liquor (tee hee, we can't say that without giggling) - the taste is not as evident as we thought it would be; however, double the alcohol and you'll be sure to taste it. Our new Redneck Wine Glasses say "Ball" in big fancy letters on the side - how appropriate is that for the perfect instrument to house Nut Liquor.  

Fragoli - strawberry heaven, with little tiny strawberries that pour out in every ounce. It's like real fruit jam. And again, our new Redneck Wine Glasses have a pictures of fruit on the other side...coincidence??  The latest popular saying in the corporate world is "low hanging fruit", tonight we think that perfectly matches our paralyzer. The tiny little strawberries either sink to the bottom or float to the top. The low hanging fruit is on the bottom and is the first to be sucked up into the straw. The floaters stick around to the end and are there to console you once your liquid is gone. Heck, you can keep those floaters around for a few drinks if you really want to. Fragoli, it's the liquor that keeps on giving. 

We give this one a three star rating.